


i've said all i need to say, but not what you need to hear

by marvelleous



Series: tumblr prompts [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:31:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9479486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelleous/pseuds/marvelleous
Summary: phil and melinda try and cope with the changes in their relationship after her return.





	

**Author's Note:**

> written for a prompt by anonymous: phil takes a chance and confesses his love to may and she (obviously) confesses it right back only it's lmdmay and then they get the real may back and his heart breaks because he thinks everything she said and did was a lie and radcliffe had just programmed the fake!may to love him back

There’s little down time for them; between Radcliffe, the Watchdogs, and Nadeer, they’re rarely in one spot for long before running off on another mission. It’s never the right moment to do this; there hasn’t been in the past thirty years and after his conversation with Elena, he thinks it’s about time he threw caution into the wind and just went right out with it. 

And so he finds May in the locker room that evening and says the words that he’s been holding back for god knows how long. 

“Melinda, I love you.”

He anticipates several possible reactions. 

He doesn’t count on her saying it back. And when she does, he feels an emotion greater than he’s experienced in an entire lifetime.

* * *

 

When the days are done and the truth comes out, he feels an entirely different emotion, more painful than he could have prepared himself for. 

He feels ashamed. He feels it for all the signs he should have recognised, the smallest details that would have meant rescuing the real Melinda all that sooner.

He feels betrayed. This clone of his best friend had him so fooled. His emotions were being toyed with for a greater evil.

He feels angry. Angry at Radcliffe for tearing them apart; for putting them through so much hell. 

He feels heartbreak; more painful than having it ripped to shreds. Fitz tells him that the LMD version of May had her memories and thoughts but was also under Radcliffe’s programming. 

What a fool he was for thinking that she could ever love him.

* * *

 

May is under observation for close to a week after she is rescued from one of Radcliffe’s underground lairs. Simmons has been pacing the hospital room, checking on her every other hour; and even when she isn’t, she has one of her underlings keeping a close eye on her patient. 

Daisy visits at least once a day, bringing by news of happenings around the base and always promising to keep an eye on the agents she refers to as “May’s new ducklings”. Yoyo zips in and out, sneaking her contraband that is usually confiscated by Simmons within the hour, and Fitz drops in on her every time he’s around to speak with Simmons. 

Even Director Mace has already been by twice, once to welcome her back in his annoying jovial manner and a second time three days later to check on her recovery. 

She hasn’t seen Phil once since her return. Her last memory of him is their conversation before this whole mess began. 

_ When this is over, it's time ... we are cracking that bottle.  _

_ You don't have to twist my arm.  _

_ I wouldn't dare. You might whip my ass. _

She wonders what happened to them between then and now.

She doesn’t have to wait long to find out.

* * *

 

Daisy and Simmons are helping her settle back into her room when she broaches the subject; asking about the events that had occurred whilst she was otherwise occupied. 

“Yeah, so Radcliffe replaced you with a robot version of yourself and we all feel really terrible that no one noticed,” Daisy informs her whilst curiously gazing around the room. 

“Daisy!” Simmons cuts in, annoyance evident in her tone.

“What?”

“I thought we agreed we were going to ease her into it.”

“No, you suggested it. I said we should just rip the bandage off and tell her what happened.”

Even sitting in bed looking smaller than ever, one glare from May has Simmons sighing and returning to her fussing about the room, making sure everything is in order and leaving Daisy to the talking.

“I mean personally I thought you were acting a little weird, but I was convinced it was because you and Coulson were you know-,” Daisy says, breaking off to gesture with her hands. “-being all chummy, drinking together and having dinner and I stopped paying attention after a while. Anyway, robot May was very convincing. Fitz said she had your brain, whatever that means, but she was programmed to retrieve the Darkhold for Radcliffe and I’m not going to bore you with the details but we managed to rescue you and shut down the robot so we’re all good now.”

She wonders if Daisy notices that she’s stopped listening.

She’s glad that she’s no longer hooked up to a monitor, so that Simmons can’t see the rise in her heart rate.

* * *

 

Things come to a head three days later after May has had a chance to consider how she plans on dealing with this particular situation. She runs through dozens of scenarios in her head but in the end the option she chooses is not one that requires too much thought.

She breaks into Phil’s room when he’s at a briefing with Mace and heads straight for his usual hiding spots. It takes only moments for her to find what she is looking for, and it only confirms her suspicions about whatever it was that has caused this anomaly in his behaviour.

And so when Phil returns to his quarters after yet another tiresome meeting, he is greeted with the sight of Melinda May sitting on his bed, the now half empty bottle of Haig in one hand. He opens his mouth in an effort to react but she beats him too it.

“There’s still enough left for us to have that drink.”

The bed dips as he sits down beside her, and she opens the bottle, taking a swig before passing it over to him. 

“You want to tell me what happened?” she asks him after a too long silence. He moves to pass the bottle back to her but freezes as their fingers brush. 

“Not much to say,” he finally responds, followed by a heavy sigh. 

“Fitz said that she had a copy of my brain. She could have fooled even the best lie detector.” She tries to comfort him even in a moment like this; after all she has been through the past few weeks, after he has let her down yet again.

“I was distracted,” he admits.

“You want to tell me why?” she prompts, setting the bottle down on his nightstand and turning her body towards him. 

“I… there were some things I told her…it, that I-” he pauses, breathing heavily.

“That you regret?”

“No.”

She nods as she absorbs his response, briefly closing her eyes  as she thinks back to the security camera footage that she had forced Daisy to dig up for her. He tenses up as she rests a hand on his shoulder, but slowly turns to face her anyway. He doesn’t move as she slowly edges closer, until their foreheads are touching and her lips are hovering just over his, leaving just enough distance for him to pull away if he chooses so.

They stay like that for what feels like a minute, an hour. They don’t know. They lose track. Time freezes as they finally take a step that they have been waiting an eternity for. 


End file.
